4 Ways to Respond When a Pastor Falls

Sitting in a pool of tears in a coffeehouse Sunday morning, I’m sure I must have been concerning the baristas and customers looking my way.

All morning, I had been fine, but sitting down and reading articles about the resignation of a favorite pastor of mine brought me to a very humbling place.

The news came to me yesterday after a great morning at Kfirst.

Perhaps the shock of it has now settled in after 24 hours of processing it. Perhaps my own humanity gets realized in these moments. Perhaps the love for the church I serve is so immense that I’m examining EVERY area of my life today as to make sure I’m reflecting Christ and his kingdom.

So when I struggle to fully grasp or comprehend something, I journal and I blog. It’s my way to work out my thoughts. Why? Because if you’ve been living under a rock, you don’t know that rawness has gotten the best of people on social media and caused more havoc by escalating situations more than needed. (I’d highly recommend a journal as a way to protect you and your friends from thoughts and emotions yet to be hashed out.)

This pastor doesn’t know me. We’ve tweeted back and forth a few times, but that doesn’t make us best friends. How God has used him in the kingdom has inspired me and the church he leads has (and continues to) challenge me.

But my brokenness isn’t exclusive to just his resignation. It happens with EVERY situation like this. I love pastors. I’ve been a broken pastor before. I am here because of men and women who wouldn’t abandon me in my brokenness but have instead spoken into my wounded heart and mind (Luke 10:33-37).

What also breaks my heart is knowing the amount of carnivorous Christians that will smell blood in the water. There are people who crave these moments. They whore themselves to the attention they get from stirring the pot so that they can promote their own self-righteousness. They claim to be about the kingdom but only care about building an empire that revolves around the box they have placed Christ and his Word into. Instead of rallying around the broken, instead of humbling themselves and checking their own hearts, they abandon and even attack the hurting. I can sit and point the finger at them, but that tendency lies in all of us.

Brothers and sisters, this should not be (James 3:10).

So, in blog style, I’ve sat down and began to pen out next steps for me. What is should be a minister’s response when a fellow minister has failed?

1. Rally around the broken.

The Enemy works in isolation; God works in community. We need to be quicker to sit in the dirt with those who are broken rather than stand around ready to hurl rocks (John 8:1-11). We need more advocates, not accusers, in the kingdom. I may not have a personal relationship with this pastor (or others who have lost their positions), but I doesn’t stop me from responding to their pain. Which brings me to No. 2 …

2. Pray for the broken.

There is a fractured minister. He or she has a hurting marriage and family. There is a hurting congregation. You don’t have to know the details to pray. Don’t allow the desire for “the dirt” to be deeper than the desire to pray. Let the Spirit of God pray through you. Let him give you the words to say. Be obedient to pray when he prompts you.

3. Stop the attacks.

Don’t facilitate infection but be a source of healing. The Good Samaritan had the perfect response of “pouring on oil and wine.” Oil was the soothing agent to remove pain. Wine was the antiseptic to stop further infection. Let your response do both.

4. Stay humble and learn.

These moments should bring us to a place of humility. They remind us that none of us are exempt from temptation. The Bible gives so many examples of men and women who failed. And for a majority of them (if not all), it was in a place of isolation, hunger and/or exhaustion.

With that in mind, every minister of the gospel must keep the following in their hearts and in their ministries.

1. Have accountability. I love my board. I don’t always do well communicating how much I value my present and past board members for their wisdom and insight. They are blessed and wise men and women of God and I am very thankful for them. However, you desperately need ministers in your life who are in the trenches or were in the trenches. Put yourself in the presence of both Paul (mentors) and Barnabas (peers) who have permission to ask you about ANYTHING in your life, marriage and family.

2. Never stop being teachable. Learn from others regardless of age, denomination or size of their ministry.

3. Guard your heart against competition. Keep the critical attitude at bay.

4. Don’t spread gossip in the name of prayer requests.

5. Keep yourself spiritually fed. Spend time in the Word. Have personal worship time. Listen to podcasts.

6. Get rest. Have good sleep habits. Date your spouse. Have time with your children. Vacation without guilt. Rest may be the most fruitful thing you can do for your ministry.

Would you spend some of your day today in prayer over fellow ministers? If you are struggling WITH temptation and/or struggling IN temptation, would you reach out to someone? If you have no one, I’d be glad to pray for you. Hit me up with a message on Facebook or Twitter. Don’t feel like you have to be alone.

We must be about the kingdom. And it won’t happen if we are devouring our own. It’ll happen when we bind the broken and heal the hurting. And those we lead, will follow our example.

Dave Barringer (@PDBarringer) is the lead pastor at Kalamazoo First Assembly of God in Portage, Michigan. He blogs about pastoring and marriage at PDave.me.

Dave Barringer
Dave Barringerhttps://pdave.me

Dave Barringer is the lead pastor at Kalamazoo First Assembly of God in Portage, Michigan, and the author of Mosaic Marriage.

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