5 Keys to Addressing Immaturity in Your Church

We often see elephants in the room as interruptions when, in reality, they are gifts and opportunities. Elephants, as I explained in my previous post, are those inappropriate or immature behaviors that remain unacknowledged and unaddressed on our teams.

Dealing with elephants is a central part of what it means to be a leader. Of course, elephants show up on our teams. The higher up, or deeper in, people progress as leaders, the more their immaturities and gaps reveal themselves.

Simply think of Jesus and his team of disciples. These are God’s gifts for us to invest in our team members and shape the culture of the ministry or organization we lead.

I have 30 years of wrestling with elephants and have made innumerable mistakes, many of which are recounted in The Emotionally Healthy Leader. Nonetheless, out of these failures, and some successes, five elements on how to deal with elephants have emerged for me.

1. Prayer

There are often multiple large and small elephants that show up at the same time. We may be tempted to ignore the situation, blame someone or attack the person out of our frustration. Holding each situation before God, listening and waiting on him, is our first work. We need grace to calm our anxieties and hear: “Be careful, keep calm, and don’t be afraid” (Isa. 7:4). We need discernment about which elephants are most important to deal with now and which ones God is inviting us to leave in his hands—at least for now.

2. Reflection

We need space to think. I refer to time to determine your goals, consider different ways to approach the situation and ask questions such as: What is the right environment and timing for this conversation? Is there anyone else I need to include? Are my steps clear? How did we get here? What did I miss along the way? Where have I contributed to the problem?

3. Wise Counsel

Learning everything by mistakes is a very painful way to lead. Search high and low for wise mentors who have been through these situations before. This can save you a lot of unnecessary anguish and chaos.

4. Community

God gives us spiritual authority as a covering, not a smothering. When I have included and trusted the counsel of those God has placed around me, and over me, this has often changed the outcome for good. It has also slowed down my process and offered a larger, more accurate perspective of a problem.

5. Courage

Confronting elephants is hard work. It often feels awful—especially when you begin. I frequently write a clear outline of my main conversational points in advance. And I pray for God’s grace to be courageous and to “stand firm in my faith, lest I not stand at all” (Isa. 7:9).

Pete Scazzero is the founder of New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, New York, and the author of two best-selling books: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and The Emotionally Healthy Church. This story was originally posted on Scazzero’s blog at EmotionallyHealthy.org.

Check out Outreach magazine’s interview with Scazzero, “Emotionally Healthy Leadership” »

Pete Scazzero
Pete Scazzerohttp://www.EmotionallyHealthy.org

Pete Scazzero, after leading New Life Fellowship Church for 26 years, co-founded Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, a groundbreaking ministry that moves the church forward by slowing the church down in order to multiply deeply changed leaders and disciples. Pete hosts the top-ranked Emotionally Healthy Leader podcast and is the author of a number of bestselling books, including The Emotionally Healthy Leader and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Pete and his wife Geri also developed The Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course (Part 1 and 2), a powerful resource that moves people from a shallow to a deep relationship with Jesus.

Keep Calm and Minister

Can you pass the "Timothy Test?"

4 Ways God’s Spirit Leads His People

We don't always have the full picture, but discerning how God is leading you is not unclear.

Fit for the Kingdom

The Lord prompted Reardon to think about combining Christian fellowship with fitness in order to create a new small group for men.