But Jay and Jen had them over for dinner, and friendship grew as Jay introduced Mark and Emily to other Christ-followers in their circle of friends. Emily was a believer, but had shelved her fledgling faith ever since dating and marrying Mark. Jay and Jen had opened their home and built trust enough that Mark agreed to check out Jay’s small group and attend church with Emily because he liked the people. Relational momentum was building.
Emily started growing in faith and Mark started openly exploring faith, because, as they put it, “We had never had friends like this before, people who actually cared, listened, built you up rather than tearing you down—people we trusted!” Refrigerator rights spread as Emily began to interact with Alex and Karen across the street. The pool party sparked relationships among many isolated neighbors. Alex and Karen’s families lived in New Zealand and Puerto Rico, so they longed for close friendship as well.
Because Emily and Mark were experiencing a level of loving relationship among these church people, it felt natural to invite Alex and Karen to attend some of the church gatherings with them, even though they did not “do church” or follow Christ. The day Alex and Karen came to church, Matt spoke on refrigerator rights. That evening, Alex and Karen went over to Emily and Mark’s house, told them how much that message moved them, and opened up about struggles they were having and how that’s what they were longing for—refrigerator rights.
As your core group begins to simply build trusting, caring friendships “as you go,” thinking about how to give refrigerator rights to people far from God, you will see relational momentum begin to build. Refrigerator rights go deeper than access to your food. It’s about a willingness to invite someone into your personal space, your real life, even your struggles—to let them see where you really live.
Not everyone will find faith. Alex and Karen did end up coming to church and connecting in a small group, but underlying marriage struggles caused an ugly divorce before they ever found faith, and both moved away. And this is an important sidenote: Building relational momentum only happens as you allow the weeds and wheat to all grow up together, knowing God will sort it all out in the end (Matthew 13:24–30).
Jesus created relational momentum as he invited people to come and see where he was staying. It says after spending the day with Jesus, Andrew brought his brother, Simon, to meet Jesus. Jesus invited Philip to come with him to Galilee; Philip immediately invited his friend, Nathanael, who was skeptical. Philip’s invitation to Nathanael mirrored the words of Jesus, “Come and see” (John 1:35–46).
