GOSPEL COACH QUALITIES
Can anyone be a good coach? I have had many athletic coaches over the years. Some were very good coaches; others were not as effective. As an athletic coach for many years, I’ve often examined what makes some coaches effective at getting their teams to perform up to their potential. Generally, both effective and ineffective athletic coaches understand the technicalities of the game, but some still don’t seem to get the most out of their players.
Legendary basketball coach John Wooden passed away at the age of 99 in 2010. His accomplishments in basketball are unmatched by any other men’s college basketball coach. He coached UCLA to an 88-game winning streak, and they won a record ten NCAA national championships in an amazing 12-year period. Coach Wooden said he made his living as a coach, but he lived his life to be a mentor and to be mentored by others constantly. Wooden said a mentor (coach) was an individual who models life principles. He said a mentor teaches about humility, contentment, interactions with family and friends, and how to keep our priorities straight in a world that often threatens to invert them. He said the mentor (coach) will encourage others as well as correct others when they move away from a healthy lifestyle. Wooden said it is not enough to just find a mentor; it’s every bit as important to become one yourself. In this description, Wooden provided some illustrative principles for Gospel Coaching.
Can anyone learn to coach a person well? The ultimate outcome of coaching a disciple-leader is to glorify God by paying careful attention to his personal, spiritual and missional life. This disciple subsequently displays evidence of God’s love and passion to worship God, engaging in a life-on-life relationship with other disciples and witnessing to the resurrected glorious Savior to a dying world.
To be effective, a Gospel Coach must first reflect the Gospel himself. When we find our identity in Jesus, we become “image-bearers” (mirror images) of the life-giving God of the Bible. Bearing His image means taking the opportunity to image God with our surrendered wills. We do this by being renewed daily in the image of Christ (Col. 3:10) and reflecting back in praise to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
We image God when we reflect/image or mirror God’s thinking, when we love what God loves, when we grieve over the things that grieve God, when we mirror the mercy and comfort God has shown us. We are called to reflect the light of Jesus. Man was created in God’s image so that he or she might represent God, like an ambassador from a foreign country. Techniques for coaching will not override the coach’s lack of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A coach can’t merely tell them what to do; he must walk in front of them as examples. They need to hear the passion in his prayers. They need to see the passion in his actions in his focus.
Ten Qualities of a Gospel Coach
The ten qualities of a coach are defined through the shepherding roles to know, feed, lead and protect the sheep. Effective coaching comes from the confluence of the four shepherding dimensions. The coach brings all issues, questions, needs, problems, or solutions to orbit around the sense of a Gospel dynamic, which he applies to each situation, because the Gospel is the ultimate solution for every problem.
A Coach Knows the Disciple
Coaching is only effective if it is done in a relational way. I think this is the reason that some athletic coaches do not get the most out of their players. I told one basketball coach struggling through a losing season that his players were not willing to sacrifice for him on the court, and as a result, they were not motivated to excel. They didn’t care because they told me that they lacked a personal relationship with their coach. The coach disagreed with my estimation, and his team continued to lose to less talented teams. As we coach in the disciple’s personal life, spiritual life and missional life, we must do it all in a relational manner. They must know we care about them. We cannot effectively lead someone without relating to them personally.
We see Jesus state the importance of relationship in John 10 when He calls Himself the Good Shepherd. The sheep don’t follow strangers and will, in fact, run from them. His sheep know the Good Shepherd and a trusting relationship is established so that when the sheep hear His voice, they are inclined to follow Him. When we attempt to lead, feed or protect a disciple with whom we have built no relationship, it should not surprise us that we are met with resistance and fear, or just plain avoided and ignored. What may appear on the surface as a hard-hearted disciple may in fact be a disciple that lacks a meaningful relationship with the coach.
Christ is our Friend (John 15:15). We must approach all of our coaching in the context of a relational friend, not just as a consultant or an expert. Coaching is a conversation, not a lecture. The coaching conversation includes listening, observing, responding, interacting, equipping, supporting, encouraging and giving advice. Coaching is an intentional Gospel conversation with focused discussions about a disciple’s personal, spiritual and missional life.
With a trusting relationship established between the Gospel Coach and the disciple, true leadership can take place. What does this leadership look like? It should look like Jesus’ leadership. Jesus is the Great Shepherd and His leaders are undershepherds who should be imitators of Him. We are called to be Christlike in all we do.
The coach declares truth to sin-ignorance. The coach addresses the guilt through the mediatorial work of Jesus, and the coach humbly oversees the disciple by displaying the new kingdom and new King that removes the bondage.
A Coach Feeds the Disciple
A coach provides counsel, admonishment and encouragement for challenges. The coach speaks truth into the life of the disciple. He probes issues regarding subtle idolatries such as church, work, success or approval. He relentlessly proclaims the truth of the Gospel and its application into the life of the disciple, appropriately rebuking, reproving, and confronting the disciple to prompt him to align his living with God’s truth. By declaring the truth, the coach feeds the disciple with meat and milk of the Word to develop a diet that will produce a healthy leader.
The coach relies on the Holy Spirit for the right words and tone at the right time; and is utterly dependent on Him to provide discernment to edify and equip. He also imparts great assurance in not simply the disciple’s gifts, abilities, plans and obedience, but in the Lord’s promises. He sees current realities and issues, but also envisions and communicates the bright hope of God’s call in the disciple’s life. He reminds the disciple of his missional objectives, strategies and whole-life stewardship. He brings God and His glory and promises back into the big picture, continuously reminding the disciple-leader of the life-giving Gospel.
Feeding Qualities
A coach feeds a disciple by nourishing with truth. He communicates boldly to the disciple who God is and His glory through his words and handling of Scripture (Heb. 1:1; John 1). The coach passionately yearns for the disciple to see God for all He is. This could look like the coach walking the disciple through Galatians and showing him the beauty of Christ’s salvation accomplished for the disciple apart from anything the disciple can contribute. The coach may point out how God has shown Himself as loving in the disciple’s life in the midst of painful circumstances. The coach’s tone here is impassioned, energetic and courageous.
A coach feeds a disciple by inspiring toward Jesus. He patiently encourages the disciple in truth, refreshes the weary disciple’s soul with God’s promises (Isa. 50:4), and illuminates areas of darkness or confusion with vision (John 1; John 8:31-32). In a coaching relationship, this looks like a coach responding to a disciple’s frustration and despair with a reminder that God will finish the work He has started and that Jesus has paid the price in full. He reviews the ways God has shown that disciple that He is at work in his life. The coach displays strength, firmness and passion in his admonition to the disciple.
A coach can inspire the disciple with his own walk with God and dependence upon the Holy Spirit. The coach looks to the Holy Spirit as teacher, guide, sanctifier, and affirmer of our sonship and standing before God. The Spirit is our helper in prayer and the one who directs us and empowers our witness to a lost world.
The coach inspires by displaying the grace of God working in his own heart and continually sanctifying him for work he or she is not qualified to do or words he or she is not capable of fulfilling. We are all dependent on the Gospel all of the time for all areas of our life.
A coach feeds a disciple by equipping. He shares his own knowledge and skills with the disciple (1 Cor. 4:16; Phil. 3:17). He has experiential, detailed and specific wisdom to offer the disciple when he is most hungry for it (Col. 1:15-18; 1 Cor. 11:1). This equipping aspect of a relationship is exemplified in the stories of Barnabas and Paul, of Paul and Timothy, and of Paul and Titus. In our Western world, we expect to learn skills by reading about them and taking a written test. In the Eastern world (context of the Bible), skills were imparted from one person to the other. It was life-on-life equipping. In the context of coaching, this could look like the coach sharing what worked or didn’t work in his first years of church planting and helping the disciple to consider all the needed resources. It could also look like imparting the characteristics necessary to cope with impatient people. The disciple may ask the coach, “How did you?” and the coach will walk the disciple through the truths and experience to impart those needed skills and abilities.
Coaching systems based on the nondirective approach do not require the coach to be competent in missional skill areas since that approach is to primarily ask good questions and then allow the person to come up with his own solutions. Coaching within our paradigm is more effective if the coach has some experience in the area of the disciple’s primary ministry responsibility. It benefits the disciple for the coach to have experienced, to some degree, what the disciple is experiencing, rather than just being a sounding board or personal mirror.
In one case, a community group leader faced unfounded accusations by a family in his small group. He sought coaching on how to deal with this from a fellow participant in the group. He suggested asking another community group leader how to deal with this delicate matter. It was exactly what he needed. The other leader faced a similar problem and was able to coach him by equipping him with proven principles.
“Equipping” (katartizo, Greek for making complete or mature) in Ephesians 4:12 is the activity of the coach as he develops others to reflect the Gospel and to respond with wisdom.
More credibility is given when someone has gone through the hardship or common challenges of a ministry skill. A coach observes and evaluates the disciple’s strength and weaknesses and then assists the disciple to establish objectives and strategies to develop the abilities and skills necessary to accomplish it. Basically, the coach teaches by providing positive and negative feedback to help the disciple to be more fruitful. Robert Clinton and Paul Stanley emphasize the importance of coaches’ knowledge of their subject:
“Coaches usually know the subject they deal with inside and out. They have an overall grasp. They can break good performance down into basic skills that must be learned. They can assess the mentoree’s motivation and skill level and adapt appropriately. Most importantly, good Coaches know how to encourage and strengthen mentorees to do what is necessary to develop the skills and attitudes that will lead to excellence.”
The three feeding qualities of a Gospel Coach are: 1) Nourishing, 2) Inspiring and 3) Equipping.
A Coach Leads the Disciple
Secondly, the coach’s role is to shepherd by leading the disciple. He provides investment, oversight and guidance for decisions. The Scriptures plainly declare “the Lord has established his throne in the heavens and his kingdom rules over all” (Ps. 103:19). He is Lord over His creation and He rules as a provisional shepherd. A coach evaluates the needs of the disciple, observes him or her in action, and imparts skills as needed. The coach is not simply solving or fixing problems presented, but is working to lead the disciple to accomplish what God has impassioned him or her to do.
The coach who leads others is hard working, disciplined and generous. A coach helps a disciple to look at problems and find solutions. He has to be willing to enter chaos to help the disciple to organize his life from the grandest scale to the smallest detail for the enjoyment and benefit of the disciple. To coach as a shepherd, a person may need to make personal sacrifices for the good of those being coached.
The coach is often able to be a resource for the disciple, connecting his disciple-leader with others, such as fellow church leaders, and subject matter experts, who can help him with such specific areas of need, such as legal issues, facility search, relocation needs, or specialized ministries. The coach in this way acts more like a concierge and less like an expert or a resource.
Leading Qualities
A coach leads a disciple by investing sacrificially. In perhaps one of his greatest paradoxes, Jesus continually states that true greatness and authority are marked by self-sacrificing behavior (Matt. 20:26-28). The coach willingly gives his time and energy to produce a healthy, reproducing disciple (1 Peter 5:2-3). He invests into the disciple by training in skills, character and leading others (2 Tim. 4:16-17). He joyfully shares resources, generously gifting and equipping the disciple to accomplish his passion for God (Eph. 4:11-12). A coach may offer good books or connections with helpful people, and perhaps even providing ideas for needed education. The coach stands with nothing to gain from the relationship but generously invests in the disciple.
A coach leads a disciple by overseeing holistically in the disciple’s personal, spiritual and missional health. Sheep scatter without a shepherd. They run when they sense danger. The careful and meticulous oversight of a shepherd over his flock is necessary to lead them beside still waters and toward green pastures. The coach exemplifies for the disciple a life that practices redemptive, dominion-like Jesus (Heb. 2:8; Rev. 21). He is self-controlled, sober-minded and disciplined, and has a well-managed household (1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 1). He knows how to manage himself and those closest to him; but he relies on the grace and power of God for this rather than overpowering those under him (1 Peter 5:2-3). He is actively pursuing a redeemed life where righteousness and peace rule down to every last detail (John 14:3; Rev. 21). The disciple is able to see “what it really looks like” to live in joy and obedience to Jesus when he observes the life of the coach.
A coach leads a disciple by guiding with discernment. He stirs the confidence of the disciple to trust Jesus’ grace and redemption in his life (Heb. 4:16, 10:19-23). He does this through extending grace when the disciple fails, he models forgiveness and prays for and with the disciple (Heb. 5:7) and treats the disciple as one who is righteous with a clean conscience in light of the truth (Heb. 9:11-14). Above all, he is ceaselessly inviting the Holy Spirit’s work, presence and power into the life of the disciple as the ongoing support available to all believers (Heb. 9:8). He helps the disciple to make decisions in every aspect of his life. He uses discernment and wisdom to walk him through the choices, decisions and strategies.
A Coach Protects the Disciple
Thirdly, the role of protecting a disciple is a function of a Gospel-centered coach who has a ministry of caring, confronting and walking alongside the disciple through the rough terrain of life. The protecting coach counsels and he listens well with the goal of ministering God’s protection and presence.
Gospel-centered coaches function in a protective role. They acknowledge that the disciple is wrestling daily with doubt, fear, pride, and idolatry. They understand the natural propensity of the disciple-leader is to relate to others, to his work, to his marriage, in ways that might serve his desire for approval, comfort, and security. The coach as protector diagnoses possible subtle ways that sin is invading the disciple’s heart and affecting his approach to life. The coach will remind the disciple of God’s love, Spirit empowerment, and sovereign reign in his or her life.
Sheep are completely defenseless in their natural environment. They are not the fierce defenders of their domains. They are furry and cute and have limited senses. Their only defense is to flock together with other sheep. A lone sheep will surely be killed without the protective (and constant) oversight of the shepherd. After the tragic ending to two church planting pastors who operated outside of the oversight of other shepherds, Acts 29 enacted a “No Rogue Planters” mandate among its nearly 500 members. We identified five planters who were not interacting with others in the network and confronted them. Two of them repented and gathered inside the protection of the network once again. One resigned and two others were pursued without much response. Within 30 days, both of these rogue pastors fell into sexual immorality with members of their church. It was discovered that they engaged in this activity for several years with multiple partners. It is not clear if they were rogue because they were in sin or if they fell into sin because they were rogue. Evidence suggests the latter.
A Gospel coach takes this role of protecting others seriously.
Protecting Qualities
A coach protects a disciple by caring and loving. His care is merciful, sympathetic (Heb. 3:17), and gentle, as he is aware of his own flaws (Heb. 5:5). This care enables the disciple to humble themselves before God and their coach, and to receive counsel. Christ’s care for us, as illustrated in 1 Peter 5:6-7, is the motivation to humble ourselves before Him and entrust our lives to Him. We can show this care to our disciple through the development of listening skills. Most of what we hear we forget or misinterpret because we have not learned to listen. We need to hear with our minds but also with our hearts and our souls, and with all our strength. We need to be motivated by the Gospel and not just by ministering to the other person. Four principles of listening emerge from the Gospel.
1. Listening is an act of grace extended to the other person. They do not necessarily deserve an audience with us in the same manner as we do not deserve an audience with God.
2. Listening is an act of love. We display God’s unmerited love to us when we listen to others with the motivation to care for them.
3. Listening is an act of compassion. When we listen to another person, we are displaying empathy and sympathy for the issues and challenges and celebrations that they are experiencing.
4. Listening is an act of participation with the Holy Spirit. We must listen responsively to the Spirit when He may want to tell us to say something that we might never think of saying through our own wisdom.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word, but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him.”
A coach protects a disciple by comforting with hope in the Gospel. When the coach has pointed out error, or has uncovered insurmountable tasks, the protecting coach walks alongside the disciple through conviction, repentance, surrender, pleading and need. Rather than avoiding the ugly mess of sin, the coach courageously walks alongside the disciple, pointing them to Christ for all their healing and redemption (Heb. 9:11-14). He does not leave the disciple to figure it out and clean himself up, but reassures the disciple of his presence in the disciple’s situation. This is not co-dependence, but rather godly interdependence as the coach functions through the mercy of Jesus in the life of the disciple, building him up in love (Eph. 4:16). This might mean changing an entire coaching session last-minute to deal with pain and suffering in the life of the disciple, calling them more frequently through a dark season, joining them for a difficult conversation, or assisting in the completion of some specific tasks that they cannot finish on their own.
A coach protects a disciple by fighting for their good. He confronts the disciple with truth, pointing out his error and where his life does not match the Gospel (Heb. 2:2-3; Titus 1:9; Gal. 2:11). He fights for the good of the disciple to protect him from sin and self-deception. He may do this by reproving, rebuking, and exhorting him (2 Tim. 4:2). The protecting coach is not swayed from his commitment to truth by fearing what the disciple or anyone else will think of him (Isa. 50:6-7; Luke 4:23-30). He is restless until he sees the disciple living in the Gospel’s freedom and righteousness. He fights for their good with words of encouragement. Affirmation—not empty praise—is a Gospel exercise of pointing out where they live in line with the Gospel or how they are demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit in their lives. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works (Heb. 10:24).
Sam Crabtree gives four helpful characteristics of affirmation:
1. Effective affirmations are detached from correction (not sandwiched).
2. They have an ongoing steady flow (not rare).
3. They are rooted in honest, commendable traits (not exaggerations).
4. Affirmations are centered on the work of God in their lives (not external traits).
The protecting qualities of a Gospel Coach are: 1) Caring, 2) Comforting, and 3) Fighting.
The shepherding model is certainly one of the best ways to explain our Lord’s knowing, feeding, leading and protective work, which through His atoning life overcame our sin-ignorance, our guilt, and our corruption. He provides us with illumination, redemption and hope. Church leaders function as his undershepherds as they minister among the flock to know, feed, lead and protect for the glory of God.
A pastor for 30 years (16 as a lead pastor), Scott Thomas serves as president of Acts 29 Network and pastor of global church at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Wash. Thomas co-authored the book Gospel Coach (releasing April 2012, Zondervan) with Tom Wood. The book will be used to train the church planters and coaches in Acts 29, a church planting network with 410 churches nationwide.
Used by permission of Zondervan.
The November/December 2011 issue of Outreach magazine features an interview with Acts 29 Network President Scott Thomas.
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